Lucky year

Crazy how life goes sometimes. Last week I was so depress and anxious. I thought my life would be over because I lost someone really close to me. Not because the person died, but because of my actions. Last week, I was destroyed and didn’t believed in myself. I thought i was the worst person. I really wanted to die. 

But I didn’t. Instead I took the time to feel my emotions and think about everything, the relationship that i just lost, my past, my future, my family, my friends and myself. Was that how I wanted to live the rest of my life? Depress and scared of success? Anxious and always in my “comfort zone”? No. No, I want more than this. I want happiness and to reach my goals. I want to be proud myself, to wake up in the morning and feel complete. 

Also, spending time with my friend, who visited from Montreal, made me feel so much better! I realized that my life is not all negative. I have friend and family that loves me and I’m capable of so much if I only put my mind to it! I find that this is something that is so easy to forget when you go through bad moments!

That being said, today is my birthday! I’m 22 years old! My mother says that it’s a lucky day for me. It’s the fist time since my birth that my birthday is on a monday. Also, it’s the holy month of ramadan and finally, there’s a rare strawberry moon. I think that it’s more reasons for me to push to get what I want in life. MY year starts today!

A.N.

Good vibes

Before you say "Anita, you said that you would write more often and you didn't!" I KNOW! Unfortunately for me, I came accross some problems with my landlord  and was under a LOT of stress for a month or so. Anyway, now that I moved to an other place downtown Toronto and that I finally started school in my dream program, I have to say that I'm happy because I feel like things are starting to fall into place in my life. I still need to find a job so I can start a "proper" change in my eating habits. Not that I haven't made changes in the way i eat but I need a bigger budjet to be able to keep it consistant during the day. What I mean by that is that usually usually, in the morning I eat fruits with a cup of tea with some fresh lemon slices in it and water infused with lemon. The  problem is that as soon as I get out of my house and arrive at school, I buy something at Tim Hortons or Second Cup. Which, I think, wouldn't happen if I have snacks/meals with me or if I ate something more filling at home. I have to admit that I need more protein in my diet! That's why I bought a lot of stuff at the grocery store! I made a menu of the healthy meals that I want to try this week and I can't wait to try them!

Anyway, like I was saying, that little problem can be solved by the source of income that a job brings! I only  applied to my dream retail job, so far, but I will definitely apply to other job this week. I keep my finger crossed that they will call me soon though! In the meantime, there's a thing that I need to work on and it's working out. Because of the stressful environment that I was living in (and let's add some laziness into it), I haven't worked out in a while. I do have my workout DvDs with me but no DvD player (damn you Macbook Air)! I'm well aware that It's no excuse for me not to have been exercising since I moved to my new place, but..yeah. It's never too late, right? 

Changing subject, I am beyond happy with my courses and I can't wait to meet and get to know new people! I've been feeling really lonely those past two months and ,I know it might sound lame, but I just can't wait to make friends and have a normal social life! It also help that I have 4 roommates, around the same age as me! We are suppose to be six in total but one room is empty. They all seem nice and I have a good feeling about the whole experience!

I have a good vibe from everything and i haven't felt so positive and in control in a long time and really I can't find the words to express how good it feels. It is actually funny to me I'm writing this has if someone is going to find these ordinary details and thoughts about my life interesting but I don't care because it's nice to share them. Even if it ends up that my supportive boyfriend and I are the only ones reading them. I just hope that one day I'll look back at my old posts and be proud of how far I've came!

Alright, I'll stop rambling, haha! Thank you for taking the time to read that long ass post, whoever you are and remember, everything is possible, you just have to set your mind to it!

Living doesn't mean that you are alive. Refuse to just exist!

A.N.

What if..?

I'm a daydreamer, always have been and probably always will be..and it's great! The only thing is that I don't do much to make those dreams come true. Well I think the first step is to get oujt of my comfort zone. I'm going to do all I can to turn that feeling of failure into a feeling of proudness and joy! Like I said in n other post, I'm tired of waisting my time. I'm tired of asking myself  " what if..?". What if I was comfortable and hapy with my body? What if I made my business idea into an actual business? What if I was more organized? What if I had a job? What if I sucessful in what I put myself to because I actually give everything I got? 

There's only way to know the answers. Get off my lazy ass and fight for what I want! That starts today, I did all I had to do, plus I'm here writing while listening to some Adele! Tomorrow, I'm going to Montreal for the weekend and I'm planning on working out, eating healthy, write and just enjoy people around me! I'll bring back my yoga mat and protein shakes with me. Your girl ain't playing anymore! I have to say that it feels pretty damn good to have a plan that comes with the dreaming. I'm also going to do some copy of my resume so I can go for a job huntg again next week. Wish me luck! Of course I will update you on everything! 

A.N.

Fashion Discoveries

I love to discovers cool & unique stuff, especially when it comes to fashion! That's what I came across at winners last weekend! Some black booties but not any kind..These booties are everything! Now they are more on the pricy side but I do believe that investing in quality basics makes a big difference in a wardrobe. They are by Maria Brotons (I couldn't find a website or anything about that brand really) and they are made in Spain. They're all leather, even the sole!

 I absolutely love the heel! From the back it look like it's stiletto but then you look at the from the side and BAM the are not!

Also the pointy front add some lenght to your legs and make it more chic. They can be paired with an all black ensemble, a pair of blue washed jeans or even a dress/skirt! It's a very versatile piece and definitely a must-have! Anyway, these are my new babies! I literally can't wait to wear them!

A.N.

Weight loss & Body acceptance

As most of you know, I am currently on a weight loss journey and lately it's been hard for me because I don't seem to find the boost that I need to really get into it. I've been eating good since I'm in Toronto but I don't exercice..idk..I want to do more but I always find excuses when it's time for action. Also I've been having some trouble with my body image and acceptance. Although I lost 7lbs so far since I'm away from home! I still feel like I could've do more, y'know?  Having a history of ED, I know those kind of thoughts can be dangerous for me so I'm ttrying really hard to focus and to not worry about all that. I can do this! 

I'm still on the hunt of job (something else I should put more efforts into!) and as soon as I get one I'm thinking about going on a juice cleanse for about a week. I believe it will be good for me. I'll probably try to be vegetarian/vegan after it or have a mostly vegan diet, I'm not sure yet. I'll go with the flow! I'm already doing my best to eat a lot more veggies and fruits and I'm not going to lie, I feel great! Today is thanksgiving in Canada so I'm off to my boyfriends house to stuff my face with some turkayy and pie, I litterally can't wait because I know that my diet will be strict when I go back home tomorrow night! No more fooling around, I'm ready to kick my own butt!  

A.N.

Update & Cupcakes

I haven't really had time to update you guys since I arrived in Toronto (almost) two weeks ago. I know, it's already been two whole weeks!! I love the city, even tho I've only been downtown with my best friend once. I'm planning on exploring more this weekend tho. I would definitely try my best to take cool pictures! I'm currently job hunting because Toronto is a pretty expensive place and I want to be able to pay for my phone and a gym membership! I really want to be more healthy like I said before and I'm actually doing good since I've been living away from home because I actually choose healthy food. I did bought a little box of cupcakes but I feel like i deserved it haha. Anyway, I really can't wait to see more of this amazing city and meet amazing people!

A.N.

More than ready...

Oh boy! It's been so long since I wrote something! To be honest I dont have a real excuse for that. I'm the type of person that will start something, get frustrated and bored when things are not going like I want to and then just abandon everything. I'm trying really hard to kick my own butt to keep doing what I like even when I'm not where I want to be. And let me tell you: I love writing!

Anyways, as you may have seen on my last video, I'm moving to Toronto in two weeks and sincerely I can't tell you guys how much this new start is needed! I need to reinvent myself, grow and expand my horizons! Here in Montreal I don't go out of my comfort zone or very rarely and I think that by actually leaving everything behind will push myself to get out of my shell and to explore the world if I may say. I'm tired of being the girl who doesn't do much, who doesn't have anything to say when people ask "so what's new with you". This is not where I want to be in life. I have goals, dream, aspirations. I want to be active! Wake up early, have a day full of exploring, learning and meeting new people. Live a healthy lifestyle. Obviously to achieve all of that I need to make choices and sacrifices. To tell you the truth I am more than ready!

A.N.

ED | MY STORY

MOVING TO TORONTO | ANITA DISCOVERS LIFE

QUICK OOTD | BOOHOO CHC

My Plans For This School Year..

As you guys know I live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. So we have a different school system here. We go to elementary school for 6 years, then high school for 5 years then we go to CEGEP for 2 years IF we want to go to university or 3years if we want to go directly to work after it.

 Anyway now that you understand our system a little bit I can start to explain…As I said before I had an eating disorder and it started during my first year of cegep. I wasn’t doing good at school and i basically failed all the classes that i took. Then came the next year where the same thing happened and the school told me to take a year to recover, so in other word to get my shit together. So I did but it also meant that I lost one more year of school. That made 3. Last school year I went back to CEGEP but my councillor told me that I still had 2 years left before university which is a big no no for me. The only way that i can go to university in less than 2 years is by not going to school at all for a minimum of a year.

 So because of all of that, my mother and I decided that it would be a good idea for me to go outside of Montreal to perfect my english before attending to the university that I choose which is an english speaking one. Our first choice was to go to San Francisco because I have 2 aunties there but I missed the inscription for the fall semester. Now we are looking for Toronto. Which is closer to home, cheaper and I have my best friend living there too. Im planning on taking some advance english classes there which are free for citizens and immigrants, finding a shared apartment and getting a job. 

Now before you ask, K and I agreed that we still want to pursuit our relationship even if it means from a distance. Im not thrilled to physically separate myself from him for a whole year but it’s something that I need to do and I know that some of you will ask why don’t I just take english classes here, well because it would count as going to class! See Quebec being the only French speaking province in Canada, french classes are the one that are free and that dont have anything to do with school. But in the rest of the country it’s english. So if I want to go to university next year, I have to not go to school at all. I really dont know if that makes any sense but wtv haha. Anyway, all of this was to say that I’m going to Toronto this year to take english classes to prepare myself for going to an english university next year! Im excited, nervous and sad at the same time because I get to change cities and to go for an adventure but I’m going to physically leave my man behind for a whole year. Don’t get me wrong he’s going to visit and I’ll do the same but it’s definitely going to be a challenge for our couple and i really hope that everything is going to work out well! 

 A.N.

Hair Review: Queen Hair Bundles

Eating disorder: My story

I’m not going to make this too long and hopefully you guys will read it. So here it is..

About 3 years ago I started my weight loss journey and I was doing pretty great. I was making amazing progress and was so happy about myself. I was 110% healthy in all aspects of my life. Then one day I ate too much..I saw on Tumblr some girls talking about it and even tho I told myself that I would never do that.. well, I did. I went into the bathroom and I made myself through up. At first I told myself that it was only for that time and that I would never do it again..but I did. It was so easy to just eat whatever i wanted without gaining weight. The only thing is that I never realized that I became addicted to it. I wasn’t gaining weight, I still lost a few pounds (around 5) but after a while I couldn't lose any more. My weight was content and no matter what I did I couldn’t lose a pound and that would depress me. 

It lasted for 2 years and when I finally decided to seek for help I was really in a bad place.My teeth were sensitive from the acid, I had zero energy to do anything, I would have panic attacks and suffer from anxiety, my hair was falling out, I would have nightmare..I was just so miserable. It took me around a year to recover. I had to go an intensive program for that but it was worth it. I’m still not completely recovered will probably never will but I’m working on it. And this is the story behind my weight gain. I gained all the weight back and to be honest I’m not so happy about that part because I’m not really dealing good with that part just yet. But then again I’m working really hard on it. I’m sharing this today because I want to help other people get over that hard moment in their life and tell them that hey friend, recovery is possible. Happiness is possible. Loving yourself IS POSSIBLE. Please seek help as soon as possible. The sooner the better you’ll feel. I guarantee you it’s worth it.

Thank you.

A. N.

Quick OOTD

Life in pictures

Ok so I usually write some pretty long posts but it's been a while because of school and I just wanted you guys to appreciate some of my favourite pieces of life from theses past weeks! 

1. I had the most amazing hot-dog with K on St-Denis

2. I got my hands on one of my mom vintage jacket from France

3. I got a faux fur clutch for 8$ and K and I named it blueburt

4. I went to a random fair and it was so much fun

5. Tried a new pastry that was oh so yummy

6. My cat is the most adorable thing on earth

7. I had the biggest General Tao plate ever

8. I got The Book Of Negroes  by Lawrence Hill and got to enjoy breakfast while reading it!

Well that's all guys! I resumed the couple past weeks in a few points. I hope you enjoyed my pictures as much as I do. PS I'm taking d=some photography classes next semester and I'm so happy about it! Now I have to save some money buy a good camera, but I'm so excited to show you my progress!

Love.

A.N. 

My Weightloss Journey & Youtube come back

Favourite Products for a Glowing, Fab & Healthy Skin

Ok guys, a lot of people compliment me on my skin and ask me what IS my secret. Well, get your pen and paper cuz I'm about to give you some advice! Shoutout to all my black people struggling with ashy errrthing, I feel y'all! Anyway, let's start with my face routine: I have do have some acne  sometimes and oily skin but Proactiv really does wonders. I definitely recommend it for people with normal to oily skin. The only downside is that it dries out my skin so that's when Body Shop's Vitamin E Serum & Intense Moisture Cream comes in! I am in love with these two! They hydrate my face and leave it super soft and glowing! I also use the Body Shop's Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash and Clarifying Toner when I want to get rid of my makeup smoothly. Now let me tell you, these two smell is divine! They also leave a refresh sensation on your skin, LOVE IT! 

Now I know that some people have trouble squeezing facial routine in their every day life or just trouble remembering. The best advice I have is to keep the cleanser in the shower and to wash your face since you're already at it! Talking about shower, I scrub around 2 times a week so I can get rid of the dead skin and get that extra hydration boost. To do that I use the Strawberry & Papaya sugar body scrub. I feel like I'm covering myself with candy and, let's be honest, who never wish they could do that! It smells amazing and after it, you feel so soft you won't be able to stop touching your skin! Oh and even if they're not apart of my skin regimen, the Coconut Water Weightless Hydration shampoo and conditioner from OGX is simply incredible for your hair! The name says it all, it hydrates without weighting the hair! What else can we ask for?!

Moving on to the after shower care, I use the Body Shop's Strawberry Body Butter and  got to say that it is my favourite product of them all. Everything about it makes me happy, the smell, the texture and what it does to my skin..thanks to it, my skin has never been softer and more radiant! I apply it when my skin is still a little damp so that it can absorb more of the product, it also allows me to use less than I would on a dry skin. I also use the Pure Désir de Lilas from Yves Rocher from time to time because the smell of it is out-of-this-world lovely.

You probably guessed by now, I love to smell good. I cannot get out of my house knowing that I stink. So for an extra fresh and light smell, I  sometimes spray some of the Ralph Lauren's Romance body mist. You know, for those days when I don't really feel like wearing perfume.

Voilà! There you have it, my secret for a glowing fab and Healthy skin! Moisture, moisture and always moisture! I wish you guys an awesome week, full of happiness and peace! I linked down below all the products that I could find! Give me your feedbacks on how you find my post and what you would like to read about next time! 

A. N.

(Products on the picture) From the top right to the left corner: 

1. Vitamin E Intense moisture Cream & Serum from Body Shop

2. Proactiv's Cleanse, Tone and Treat treatment

3. Ralph Lauren's Romance Body Mist

4. Pure Désir de Lilas body lotion from Yves Rocher 

5. Coconut Water Weightless Hydration Shampoo & Conditioner from OGX

6. Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash & Clarifying Toner from Body Shop

7. Strawberry & Papaya Sugar Body Scrub

8. Strawberry Body Butter from the Body Shop

More Me?

Hello, hello!

I know it's been a while since I wrote anything here and I really missed it! To be honest I wasn't convince that anyone was interested in what i had to say. One time I asked Kenneth (my boyfriend) what he thought of my articles and he said that I wasn't putting enough of myself in them. I was discouraged and frustrated because I knew he was right but I couldn't find my own style of writing. So I decided to drop everything even though it made me sad. I have to confess that whenever something is starting to get hard, I abandon it because of the fear of failing. I've done that almost all my life. Well guess what? Not anymore! I'm really trying to go forward in my life and get the best of it. Of course it's not something that happen overnight but I'm pretty confident in myself. Baby steps y'all, baby steps!

Changing the subject, happy (late) New Year! I hope you all had a good time for those of you who remember their evening\night, yes party animals, I see you. I sure did had a good one. Went to the Old port in Montreal with Kenneth, where we met some of my friends. It was so cold and I was clearly underdress but the fireworks, my crazy drunk\tipsy friend, and the fact that K and I were celebrating our first New Year together, made it amazing! The general spirit was so full of love, happiness and joyful spirit that nothing could've made it negative anyway. Montreal people are the best! Kenneth and I finally went to a bar and spend the rest of the night together. Simple but couldn't be more perfect in my book.

Who says New Year say New Year's resolutions.. Oh those good old resolutions that everyone forget after a few weeks! Like so many before me, I failed at those self promises over and over again. It seems like, once a year, we all suddenly forget that we can start a new lifestyles anytime we want! I read somewhere that it only takes 21 days to integrate a new habit in your life routine..and only a bad week full of chocolate, pies and other sugary goodies to make you fall back! but not this time!

It's crazy to think that 2 years ago I was so close to be super fit and to my ''goal weight''. I broke into my bad habits and created a new lifestyle that I was so proud of! Unfortunately, I got sick. Although I'm not ready to talk about it in details, I will say that it was the most difficult 2 years of my life but not just negativity got out of it. It made me grow and now I'm more aware of what kind of person I want to become. I'm not going to lie it was hard, and still is, but I'm working on it. Trying to change my bad habits day by day. 

So here I am, writing an overly long post about myself haha. On a more joyful note, I'm currently really into blogging and Youtube videos. I did a little video for my friend about our summer trip and I really enjoyed it so I decided to upload it! It was an amazing feeling! I wanted to do Youtube videos for a while never really did anything about it (beside 3 videos). Anyway, I know now that I'm definitely going to blog more about Fashion, (Healthy) Food and of course discovering new stuff!

Soon it will be spring and as the birds return to the trees on their yearly migration, so will the feelings of warmth and excitement in our hearts and minds. The feelings only a city like Montreal can inspire me.

A. N.

Food, People, Books & Sweet cravings

What a week! I bought some Agatha Christie's ( the classics!) a few days before traveling to France, at this awsome low cost/second hand library on the streets Mont-Royal and Papineau , called Magasin Orange (orange store)! They have all sort of books, CDs and movies and the cashier is the most happy man ever, always smiling and kind! It's maybe just me, but I love books with history, that use to belong to someone else and bring joy to them. I feel like I'm a part of joyful chain of happy readers passing their happiness to strangers by simply giving a book! Unfortunately I didn't really read while on vacation so it was time for me to get back to reading!

Other than that I ate so much yummy things!  First, my boyfriend K and I went to Dunn's Famous on the street Metcalfe, a small diner style restaurant known for their smoke meat and founded in Montreal. I took the Chicken Ceasar Wrap and K took their famous smoke meat sandwich, we were not disappointed! Plus the service was fast and friendly.

Tuesday, one of my oldest friend Karine and I went to the city's pie heaven: Rockaberry (the one on St-Denis! They have so many choices..it took us 15 min to choose! We finally went for the Caramel Fudge Brownie Cheesecake Pie and I thought I'd achieved nirvana! Yes it was THAT good! We had a blast there.

Wednesday, my girl Alisha and I went to Juliette & Chocolat, an amazing dessert restaurant full of, you'll probably guess it, chocolate goodness. I took the Salt Caramel Brownie with their creamy/mellowness classic hot coco! She took the Cheesecake Brownie with their delicious white hot coco. We sat outside on their terrace and enjoyed the weather! A really nice evening!

I hope you guys had a good and positive week too!

A. N.

And a door to the world just open..

After a few years of hesitation, here I am! I always wanted to have a blog of my very own, but I  thought I had to wait to have the money to buy a fancy camera to take cool pictures like the other bloggers. I realized recently that I didn't actually need a Canon rebel or a Nikon to start blogging about my everyday life, I'll use my IPhone 5s! Although I have had a Tumblr for a few years now, I felt the urge to have a place that I actually create myself and that every content was my own work. 

So here it is! Anita Discovers, my very own blog! The title says it, I'll blog about all the things/places/people that I meet/discover (and rediscover) in my beautiful city: Montreal! I had the idea of ''rediscovering'' my town when my friend Alisha and I went on a trip to France and that we realize all the places we never been in our city! So I thought it'll be a great idea to share my little ''adventure'' with beautiful souls around the world! Also share the reinvention of myself as a person in the form the evolution of my personal style, the search of a permanent AND healthy lifestyle and hopefully finding a passion. I can't wait to share all of these wonderful things with you and am looking forward to see where this new adventure will take me!

A. N.