Update & Cupcakes

I haven't really had time to update you guys since I arrived in Toronto (almost) two weeks ago. I know, it's already been two whole weeks!! I love the city, even tho I've only been downtown with my best friend once. I'm planning on exploring more this weekend tho. I would definitely try my best to take cool pictures! I'm currently job hunting because Toronto is a pretty expensive place and I want to be able to pay for my phone and a gym membership! I really want to be more healthy like I said before and I'm actually doing good since I've been living away from home because I actually choose healthy food. I did bought a little box of cupcakes but I feel like i deserved it haha. Anyway, I really can't wait to see more of this amazing city and meet amazing people!

A.N.

Eating disorder: My story

I’m not going to make this too long and hopefully you guys will read it. So here it is..

About 3 years ago I started my weight loss journey and I was doing pretty great. I was making amazing progress and was so happy about myself. I was 110% healthy in all aspects of my life. Then one day I ate too much..I saw on Tumblr some girls talking about it and even tho I told myself that I would never do that.. well, I did. I went into the bathroom and I made myself through up. At first I told myself that it was only for that time and that I would never do it again..but I did. It was so easy to just eat whatever i wanted without gaining weight. The only thing is that I never realized that I became addicted to it. I wasn’t gaining weight, I still lost a few pounds (around 5) but after a while I couldn't lose any more. My weight was content and no matter what I did I couldn’t lose a pound and that would depress me. 

It lasted for 2 years and when I finally decided to seek for help I was really in a bad place.My teeth were sensitive from the acid, I had zero energy to do anything, I would have panic attacks and suffer from anxiety, my hair was falling out, I would have nightmare..I was just so miserable. It took me around a year to recover. I had to go an intensive program for that but it was worth it. I’m still not completely recovered will probably never will but I’m working on it. And this is the story behind my weight gain. I gained all the weight back and to be honest I’m not so happy about that part because I’m not really dealing good with that part just yet. But then again I’m working really hard on it. I’m sharing this today because I want to help other people get over that hard moment in their life and tell them that hey friend, recovery is possible. Happiness is possible. Loving yourself IS POSSIBLE. Please seek help as soon as possible. The sooner the better you’ll feel. I guarantee you it’s worth it.

Thank you.

A. N.

More Me?

Hello, hello!

I know it's been a while since I wrote anything here and I really missed it! To be honest I wasn't convince that anyone was interested in what i had to say. One time I asked Kenneth (my boyfriend) what he thought of my articles and he said that I wasn't putting enough of myself in them. I was discouraged and frustrated because I knew he was right but I couldn't find my own style of writing. So I decided to drop everything even though it made me sad. I have to confess that whenever something is starting to get hard, I abandon it because of the fear of failing. I've done that almost all my life. Well guess what? Not anymore! I'm really trying to go forward in my life and get the best of it. Of course it's not something that happen overnight but I'm pretty confident in myself. Baby steps y'all, baby steps!

Changing the subject, happy (late) New Year! I hope you all had a good time for those of you who remember their evening\night, yes party animals, I see you. I sure did had a good one. Went to the Old port in Montreal with Kenneth, where we met some of my friends. It was so cold and I was clearly underdress but the fireworks, my crazy drunk\tipsy friend, and the fact that K and I were celebrating our first New Year together, made it amazing! The general spirit was so full of love, happiness and joyful spirit that nothing could've made it negative anyway. Montreal people are the best! Kenneth and I finally went to a bar and spend the rest of the night together. Simple but couldn't be more perfect in my book.

Who says New Year say New Year's resolutions.. Oh those good old resolutions that everyone forget after a few weeks! Like so many before me, I failed at those self promises over and over again. It seems like, once a year, we all suddenly forget that we can start a new lifestyles anytime we want! I read somewhere that it only takes 21 days to integrate a new habit in your life routine..and only a bad week full of chocolate, pies and other sugary goodies to make you fall back! but not this time!

It's crazy to think that 2 years ago I was so close to be super fit and to my ''goal weight''. I broke into my bad habits and created a new lifestyle that I was so proud of! Unfortunately, I got sick. Although I'm not ready to talk about it in details, I will say that it was the most difficult 2 years of my life but not just negativity got out of it. It made me grow and now I'm more aware of what kind of person I want to become. I'm not going to lie it was hard, and still is, but I'm working on it. Trying to change my bad habits day by day. 

So here I am, writing an overly long post about myself haha. On a more joyful note, I'm currently really into blogging and Youtube videos. I did a little video for my friend about our summer trip and I really enjoyed it so I decided to upload it! It was an amazing feeling! I wanted to do Youtube videos for a while never really did anything about it (beside 3 videos). Anyway, I know now that I'm definitely going to blog more about Fashion, (Healthy) Food and of course discovering new stuff!

Soon it will be spring and as the birds return to the trees on their yearly migration, so will the feelings of warmth and excitement in our hearts and minds. The feelings only a city like Montreal can inspire me.

A. N.