Good vibes

Before you say "Anita, you said that you would write more often and you didn't!" I KNOW! Unfortunately for me, I came accross some problems with my landlord  and was under a LOT of stress for a month or so. Anyway, now that I moved to an other place downtown Toronto and that I finally started school in my dream program, I have to say that I'm happy because I feel like things are starting to fall into place in my life. I still need to find a job so I can start a "proper" change in my eating habits. Not that I haven't made changes in the way i eat but I need a bigger budjet to be able to keep it consistant during the day. What I mean by that is that usually usually, in the morning I eat fruits with a cup of tea with some fresh lemon slices in it and water infused with lemon. The  problem is that as soon as I get out of my house and arrive at school, I buy something at Tim Hortons or Second Cup. Which, I think, wouldn't happen if I have snacks/meals with me or if I ate something more filling at home. I have to admit that I need more protein in my diet! That's why I bought a lot of stuff at the grocery store! I made a menu of the healthy meals that I want to try this week and I can't wait to try them!

Anyway, like I was saying, that little problem can be solved by the source of income that a job brings! I only  applied to my dream retail job, so far, but I will definitely apply to other job this week. I keep my finger crossed that they will call me soon though! In the meantime, there's a thing that I need to work on and it's working out. Because of the stressful environment that I was living in (and let's add some laziness into it), I haven't worked out in a while. I do have my workout DvDs with me but no DvD player (damn you Macbook Air)! I'm well aware that It's no excuse for me not to have been exercising since I moved to my new place, but..yeah. It's never too late, right? 

Changing subject, I am beyond happy with my courses and I can't wait to meet and get to know new people! I've been feeling really lonely those past two months and ,I know it might sound lame, but I just can't wait to make friends and have a normal social life! It also help that I have 4 roommates, around the same age as me! We are suppose to be six in total but one room is empty. They all seem nice and I have a good feeling about the whole experience!

I have a good vibe from everything and i haven't felt so positive and in control in a long time and really I can't find the words to express how good it feels. It is actually funny to me I'm writing this has if someone is going to find these ordinary details and thoughts about my life interesting but I don't care because it's nice to share them. Even if it ends up that my supportive boyfriend and I are the only ones reading them. I just hope that one day I'll look back at my old posts and be proud of how far I've came!

Alright, I'll stop rambling, haha! Thank you for taking the time to read that long ass post, whoever you are and remember, everything is possible, you just have to set your mind to it!

Living doesn't mean that you are alive. Refuse to just exist!

A.N.

Update & Cupcakes

I haven't really had time to update you guys since I arrived in Toronto (almost) two weeks ago. I know, it's already been two whole weeks!! I love the city, even tho I've only been downtown with my best friend once. I'm planning on exploring more this weekend tho. I would definitely try my best to take cool pictures! I'm currently job hunting because Toronto is a pretty expensive place and I want to be able to pay for my phone and a gym membership! I really want to be more healthy like I said before and I'm actually doing good since I've been living away from home because I actually choose healthy food. I did bought a little box of cupcakes but I feel like i deserved it haha. Anyway, I really can't wait to see more of this amazing city and meet amazing people!

A.N.

Eating disorder: My story

I’m not going to make this too long and hopefully you guys will read it. So here it is..

About 3 years ago I started my weight loss journey and I was doing pretty great. I was making amazing progress and was so happy about myself. I was 110% healthy in all aspects of my life. Then one day I ate too much..I saw on Tumblr some girls talking about it and even tho I told myself that I would never do that.. well, I did. I went into the bathroom and I made myself through up. At first I told myself that it was only for that time and that I would never do it again..but I did. It was so easy to just eat whatever i wanted without gaining weight. The only thing is that I never realized that I became addicted to it. I wasn’t gaining weight, I still lost a few pounds (around 5) but after a while I couldn't lose any more. My weight was content and no matter what I did I couldn’t lose a pound and that would depress me. 

It lasted for 2 years and when I finally decided to seek for help I was really in a bad place.My teeth were sensitive from the acid, I had zero energy to do anything, I would have panic attacks and suffer from anxiety, my hair was falling out, I would have nightmare..I was just so miserable. It took me around a year to recover. I had to go an intensive program for that but it was worth it. I’m still not completely recovered will probably never will but I’m working on it. And this is the story behind my weight gain. I gained all the weight back and to be honest I’m not so happy about that part because I’m not really dealing good with that part just yet. But then again I’m working really hard on it. I’m sharing this today because I want to help other people get over that hard moment in their life and tell them that hey friend, recovery is possible. Happiness is possible. Loving yourself IS POSSIBLE. Please seek help as soon as possible. The sooner the better you’ll feel. I guarantee you it’s worth it.

Thank you.

A. N.

More Me?

Hello, hello!

I know it's been a while since I wrote anything here and I really missed it! To be honest I wasn't convince that anyone was interested in what i had to say. One time I asked Kenneth (my boyfriend) what he thought of my articles and he said that I wasn't putting enough of myself in them. I was discouraged and frustrated because I knew he was right but I couldn't find my own style of writing. So I decided to drop everything even though it made me sad. I have to confess that whenever something is starting to get hard, I abandon it because of the fear of failing. I've done that almost all my life. Well guess what? Not anymore! I'm really trying to go forward in my life and get the best of it. Of course it's not something that happen overnight but I'm pretty confident in myself. Baby steps y'all, baby steps!

Changing the subject, happy (late) New Year! I hope you all had a good time for those of you who remember their evening\night, yes party animals, I see you. I sure did had a good one. Went to the Old port in Montreal with Kenneth, where we met some of my friends. It was so cold and I was clearly underdress but the fireworks, my crazy drunk\tipsy friend, and the fact that K and I were celebrating our first New Year together, made it amazing! The general spirit was so full of love, happiness and joyful spirit that nothing could've made it negative anyway. Montreal people are the best! Kenneth and I finally went to a bar and spend the rest of the night together. Simple but couldn't be more perfect in my book.

Who says New Year say New Year's resolutions.. Oh those good old resolutions that everyone forget after a few weeks! Like so many before me, I failed at those self promises over and over again. It seems like, once a year, we all suddenly forget that we can start a new lifestyles anytime we want! I read somewhere that it only takes 21 days to integrate a new habit in your life routine..and only a bad week full of chocolate, pies and other sugary goodies to make you fall back! but not this time!

It's crazy to think that 2 years ago I was so close to be super fit and to my ''goal weight''. I broke into my bad habits and created a new lifestyle that I was so proud of! Unfortunately, I got sick. Although I'm not ready to talk about it in details, I will say that it was the most difficult 2 years of my life but not just negativity got out of it. It made me grow and now I'm more aware of what kind of person I want to become. I'm not going to lie it was hard, and still is, but I'm working on it. Trying to change my bad habits day by day. 

So here I am, writing an overly long post about myself haha. On a more joyful note, I'm currently really into blogging and Youtube videos. I did a little video for my friend about our summer trip and I really enjoyed it so I decided to upload it! It was an amazing feeling! I wanted to do Youtube videos for a while never really did anything about it (beside 3 videos). Anyway, I know now that I'm definitely going to blog more about Fashion, (Healthy) Food and of course discovering new stuff!

Soon it will be spring and as the birds return to the trees on their yearly migration, so will the feelings of warmth and excitement in our hearts and minds. The feelings only a city like Montreal can inspire me.

A. N.